Why am I sitting here? I am in sorrow, weeping, and morning. I can feel a warmth running down my arms. I can’t help but wonder why? How could of this happened? Why couldn’t it have happened to someone else? Why wasn’t it me? I can’t help but look into those eyes. They are so blank, so deep, so empty.
I can’t control myself. I am shaking. I feel my body fading. I am receding into the darkness, the anger, the hate. I can’t understand and it numbs me. It numbs me to the point I can’t remember the events that just took place. Why am I holding her? Who is she?
This enigma has no end in sight. I wonder if I will ever be able to understand it. The ringing in my ear is drowning out any sounds I would normally be able to hear. My sense of smell has been consumed by the smell of sulfur in the air. The haze in the air suddenly captures my attention as a shadow recedes into the distance. Who is that in the haze?
I am beginning to regain the sounds of my surroundings. What is that pounding? It sounds almost like a drum with the sound of water. Is someone running in the puddles? Who is that man? Why is he running? Did he do this?
The man turns the corner as I shout at him,” Stop, come back, you can’t leave me here alone!”
The man is no more. Out of sight and out of mind. I return to the woman cradled in my arms. So pale, so ghostly, so beautiful. She has always been so strong, so determined. She is the hand that guided me. She can’t leave me, she has given me the world, something to look forward to. She carries my lineage. She can’t leave me alone. Why did he do this? Why did he hurt her?
When I look away, I catch a glimpse of her belongings. The purse she desired so much, the purse I thought was too expensive. The contents floating, bathing in the filthy water. The tickets to the show she was so excited to see, the photo of her and me on our honeymoon, and the anniversary card which now bleeds the ink I used to write my last words to her. I love you my guardian Angel.
She couldn’t let it go. Now he has gotten what he wanted and taken her from me. Why didn’t I stop him? It happened so fast. If we only drove to the show. She wanted to walk through the park, enjoy the night. I couldn’t deny her even though I knew it wasn’t safe. Why didn’t she just give it to him? Why does she always have to stand up for her beliefs?
I can hear the sirens in the in the distance. I hear bubbling, gargling sound and return my gaze on her. Her hand graces my face with it presence as she chokes on her last words,”I love you.”
I go blank.
Why am I sitting here? I am in sorrow, weeping, and morning. I can feel a warmth running down my arms. I can’t help but wonder why? How could of this happened? Why couldn’t it have happened to someone else? Why wasn’t it me? I can’t help but look into those eyes. They are so blank, so deep, so empty.