One of my favorite songs by Manu Chao is Merry Blues. I always thought that statement in itself was interesting. We find one of those rarities in the English language, the Oxymoron. How can you be merry when you have the blues? Then it hit me, I have the Merry Blues all the time.
I am often depressed and it can last for days, sometimes even months. When I have the longer stretches of depression I often become obsessed on trying to figure out why I am depressed. This does one of 2 things, it makes me even more depressed, and it also makes me look at all the good things in my life. When I am depressed, I don’t want to be depressed, so I make myself look at the positive things in my life. I find myself in this temporary stake of glee. I may giggle to myself or try to joke around. Even though I can feel myself being happy and cheery, there is still this dark cloud brewing around me letting my know that this tempest is not over yet. I am caught in a state of happiness is a stated of depression. At that moment I feel my own awareness.
The Merry Blues.
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mom
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mom
